. . . .

Привет Путин!,

How's it going Pootie-Poot Putin? (Do you mind if I call you that? George W. Bush calls you that all the time). How's being the Prime Minister of Russia going? Is your puppet, President Мedvedev, behaving well? I hope so. But wait -- I'm not here to talk politics, or even about Russia. I'm here to talk to you about Physics. . . .don't ask why. Even I don't know why I'd write a letter to the Prime Minister of Russia to talk about such a subject. Let alone write to the Prime Minister of Russia only to have some Physics teacher read it instead. BAH! But I shall "write" to you anyway.

So, Pootie-Poot (calling you that is quite awkward. . .how does George Bush do it so easi--Nevermind), I'm sure you're asking "Why me? Why must I be the one written to due to some physics assignment?" Simple. Napoleon's already dead so I can't write to him. You're the next best guy! (Please don't send the FSO after me). Anyway, I'm sure you simply CAN'T WAIT to read some letter about physics from some girl you've never heard of before who's not even from your country . . . RIGHT? Then let's get started! Today I'm going to discuss to you the wonders of elastic and inelastic collisions!!! OH JOY! I CAN'T WAIT!
Let's start with elastic collisions. An elastic collision happens when Kinetic Energy (KE) is conserved. Sadly, even though I'm writing A LETTER to you about Physics, I'm not very good at it, myself. Thus, my examples are limited. Don't expect any cool examples. Aww. . .but I like cool examples!

Apparently, two billiard balls hitting each other is an example of an elastic collision. Billiard ball one is hit; billiard one hits billiard two; billiard one stops while billiard two starts moving at the same speed as the original one (if one were to negate friction, that is). Wait. . .what about the energy loss due to sound? Hmm. . . . well, these three websites say that it's an elastic collision, and I believe they are more trustworthy than myself so I'm going to agree with them. But for the most part, macroscopic collisions are inelastic, not elastic. . . . .Did you know that Andrew Jackson detested paper money, yet he's THE GUY ON THE TWENTY DOLLAR BILL? . . . .that has nothing to do with collisions. . .but. . .BUT IT'S INTERESTING! Isn't that good enough? Honestly, who would write a letter to someone explaining collisions, unless that person being written to needed HELP on understanding them? And if THAT were the case, I'd be the one RECEIVING the letter, not writing it!

An inelastic collision occurs when some KE is lost to other energies such as gravity, sound, and friction. According to Mr. Physics Book, almost all of the collisions one sees in everyday life (macroscopic collisions) are inelastic because KE is being lost due to other energies. Clap your hands, drive a car into another one, jump out of a plane without a parachute like some Russians did during WWII (well, you could ALSO jump out of a plane WITH a parachute. . .but where's the fun in that?),… in all of them, KE changes, ergo the collisions are inelastic. A generic example would be a tennis ba--Wait! That's too boring. How about we use a SUPERBALL instead! (Which is THREE TIMES AS RESILIENT as a tennis ball, therefore, due to the Law of Conservation of Awesomeness, is also THREE TIMES AS COOL). With each bounce its maximum height lowers (due to gravity), in turn, changing its velocity (d/t). Why is the Super Bowl called the "Super Bowl"? Its name is partially derived from the SuperBall. WHAM-O!

Completely inelastic energy happens when the colliding objects stick to each other after the collision. From that point on, they will move together at the same velocity. So if you, as a former KGB officer, ever tackled any German guy who was trying to escape from East Germany, it was a completely inelastic collision. Yay! Go Putin! Other examples would be poor "Der Alte Fritz" being shot and the battle of Kunersdorf (actually, anyone else getting a bullet lodged into them would be an example of this, but Old Fritz is Great (his name says so) and therefore deserves special attention).

Wasn't that fun? You got to learn all about collisions (although you really shouldn't take my word for any of this. Meaning that, in reality, this whole letter is quite useless), and MAYBE you even learned some useless fact along the way. Did you know that French Fries came from Belgium? But now I must end my message because if I were to add (more of) whatever I would ACTUALLY type in a letter, this would be five times as long. (Yes. Five times LONGER THAN THIS ALREADY IS). I shall end with showing off what little I know of the Russian language:

Кто будет президентом? путин!,
Элисэбет Росс
(AREN'T YOU PROUD, PUTIN?!)





. . . . I liked this project, but I honestly don't see the logic in it.

"For homework I want you to write a letter to ANYONE YOU WANT and explain to them how you know what each type of collision is."

. . . .who would ever write a letter to someone about that?!? "Hey, Bob! I just wanted to talk to you about how collisions work in physics!"

. . .no "How's your day going," or "Thanks for the gift,". . . just "Physics." WHAAAT?!?!


If my Russian is wrong, I'm sorry (then again, who KNOWS Russian who looks at these? Ha!)

Although ABOUT THE LANGUAGE, I'm guessing that one shouldn't address the Prime Minister of Russia with a simple \"Привет!\" (which I believe is somewhat like a "Hey!" or "Hi!"), but MEH! It's an informal letter! It's not supposed to be serious! I'll speak to the Prime Minister of Russia HOWEVER I WANT TO, SO TAKE THAT!

And I don't know if Putin can send the FSO after me, but they're the President's guards, so wouldn't that mean that Putin MIGHT have power over them as well (most of all with Mr. Puppet being the current President right now)? I'M NO EXPERT ON RUSSIA! I QUICKLY LOOKED THIS STUFF UP ON WIKIPEDIA!


Well, I really DID like this project. We had one day to complete it and I spent. . . about three hours on it. I don't think it had to be three pages long, but. . . .

. . . . I seem to enjoy ranting while typing, ESPECIALLY when it's ranting about something I ENJOY RANTING ABOUT. Assignments such as these are quite fun.




. . . .aside from that, I really have nothing more to say. . . .

. . .except that I've started charting Starrett's umms on Excel. He's up to a grand total of 4174 umms in 202 days. His average UPC (Umms per Class) is 20.7.

Statistics are fun.

AND NOW I SHALL GO TO BED BECAUSE IT'S 1:30 IN THE MORNING AND I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY TO GO TO THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER'S HOU--I MEAN JAMES BUCHANAN'S HOUSE. (Please note, I'm quite excited for this, don't think just because I say I'm going to the "Worst President Ever's House" means that I'm not looking forward to it.

It's just that he really WAS the worst President ever (and ALSO the only President from Pennsylvania. . . .). Awww. . . . Pennsylvania, you're still awesome, even if your President didn't do anything right.

Oh great. I just thought of another thing to rant about: Abraham Lincoln was a failure through most of his life, yet HE'S the BEST PRESIDENT EVER (once again, don't take this the wrong way. Lincoln's one of my FAVORITE PRESIDENTS along with Jefferson, Jackson, and T.R.). NO! I WILL NOT RANT! WILL NOOTTTTTT! GOOD NIGHT TO YOU ALL!


. . .usually I look over these, but NOT TODAY! I need sleep. If there are stupid errors, OH WELL!